Reading Sue’s comments when she tried to call up hospital for info in Pg and her grievances over the communication with them prompted me to write this. Her experience was similiar to talking to a hawker she said. I am quite sure I understand her point of view. I do agree hospital staffs should really train their staffs at least some basic English that is grammatically correct and proper phone etiquettes as they are considered the ‘ambassadors’ and image of the hospital they work in.
Surely you don’t want a fish monger nor a butcher to perform an op for you in times of distress.. chop chop chop shoulder cut, tenderloin, leg of lamb or some cuts of a part of fish you cannot make out, or ask for meat tartar. no no no. you want something more define with fine workmanship and professionalism(even though it is reserved just in your face). something that after years of kegal ex that did injustice, you still can show off a nice c-section groovy line. and this dr fella must surely have passed his english exams and have written reasonable copies of thesis, reports and know about reading comphrehension and professional presentation. It must be from a reputable source of university, right?
Speaking of hawkers..there is no justice to being a hawker. You either get condemned or you just get totally condemned. for good or for bad. People think you are a green horn if you speak the Queen’s English.. (coming from hawker community itself) it is about being stereotyped. i only know, don’t ask me why. I am the living example already.
It’s tough being a hawker, especially branding the packaging. I didn’t believe it initially but now i am learning the ropes. it takes time to fine-tune and understand THE hawker identity. It took me more than a decade to be involved in food business and management and a little more than a year to walk the walk and talk the talk being a hawker… I tell you arr. the latter is much harder than the former! and i am still working on it. now we are not operating a cafe, restaurant and certainly not a fast food joint. don’t be foolish by trying make your hawker business into one. it will never work. People compare many other stuffs that are tied to it. There is a great difference. PR, packaging, marketing, hospitality, service… these things leaves a lot to be desired. there will be a negative impact.
I don’t have 101 ways of HOW TO BE LIKE A HAWKER, because i am not an old hand, YET. but i can share some experience with you. And i welcome new suggestions.
1. Don’t speak queen’s english. Speak engrish, singlish(sg english), manglish(m’sian engrish), inglish (indian engrish) and use more dialects. Alternatively can oso speak mandarin. Replace words containing Rs with Ls. (eg, say liulian, not durian. Say lambutan not rambutan. Say orleng, not orange) practise makes perfect.
2. Don’t wear freshly pressed polo Ts, nice khaki bermudas, adidas/nike sneakers and for goodness sake don’t hang a luxurious clean towel around your neck. you might get mistaken for being one of those active sport buffs who had just played golf, badminton, tennis, jogged or taken a walk/hike at the nature park/hill just a stones’ throw away. a few occasions i met acquaintances who thought i had just finished jogging and waiting to pack food at the (my) food stall. *gasp*
i don’t do that anymore. Instead wear extra large pasar malam age-old Ts with out of shape collars and wear Kloks, Flogs, Han Choo, King Kong, Akidas or whatever imitation brand of rubber shoes from China. Do NOT wear original Crocs, Crocodile, Adidas nor tags that says Just Do It, Brand with 3 Stripes. A bak chor mee stall i saw went into creative tag, he had a Just Do Eat tagline on his stall. That tagline creates lots of communication and also flak for good hawker business. Don’t forget to wear them WITH colourful socks for a good mismatch.
It takes time to fine tune this arty farty coordination. Take out your colour wheel from school and match non-complementary colours. Add a blob of chilly paste, oil stain or leave your white towel to yellow and mould then wash for an authentic effect of very used and very busy hawking work.
3. Do not ask ‘take away’ or ‘having here’ this is not fast-food. Ask ‘chiak’ or ‘pow’ say as loud as you can. This prevents ppl from making too many special requests (no taugeh, less oil, more salty, less salty, no chilly, little bit chilly, more noodle less beehoon..etc etc)
4. Do not use too many ‘pleases’. Less eye contact. just go straight to the point. or you will have to kow tow thank you, welcome, my pleasure, tk q till your head reaches the ground when you collect the money and give the change. Just give them their food and take the money faster. Lots of plates to wash later ma.
5. Do not bother to tell them too much info about operating hours, change of opening, bla bla. Direct them to your website if you have one. No need to pay for free advtsg. Tell them it’s all written up on the signboard. Act too busy, essential for a blooming biz. Ask them to check regularly for updates. If not, you might end up with ppl who ask you to cook assam laksa, curry mee, lor bak, otak otak, poh pneah, chneh hoo and you have to explain in great detail about operating costs, food costs, and other factors that do not equate to a profitable biz.
6. Leave a smile if necessary but not too much. Also do not bother to ask if the hawker had enough sleep cos very likely he hadn’t. And don’t comment that the hawkers look glum, unfriendly, fierce, angry, depressing, zombie-like, grim…etc. It’s all about PACKAGING AND IDENTITY..
